Why Do We Fight?
by JPHBK
Summary: A short story set after the events that transpired in Infinity War. Steve and Natasha attempt to come to terms with how they feel about the event and each other.


Disclaimer: Marvel owns the characters within, not I.

Natasha looked around at the sullen faces of all the many different warriors and teammates around her. She could read many emotions in the crowd. Shock, fear, confusion. Her eyes made their way past them all to find an emotion almost unique to one person.

Natasha made her way slowly over to him as he sat on the ground with his knees pulled up and his arms resting on them. She noticed how his eyes were on the gun that lied at his feet. She briefly followed his eye line before returning her gaze back to him.

"Steve?" Natasha spoke. Her tone was quiet, but she knew it registered with him. She waited for a moment but he gave no response. She knelt down next to him and ran a hand gently up and down his forearm. His eyes flicked over to her briefly and then returned to the gun. "Steve... are you..."

"Why do we fight?" Steve interrupted her. She closed her mouth and cocked her head at him slightly. His question had both intrigued and confused her.

"What... what do you mean?" Natasha asked. His eyes finally made their way up to match hers.

"He asked me that once..." Steve responded with a nod of his head to the gun on the ground at his feet. A gun that was representative of what was left of Bucky. Natasha wasn't sure what to say. "We were knee deep in a battle... didn't look good for us... but we made it... we all survived that one."

"I'm sorry... I know what he meant to you," Natasha consoled him as she tightened her grip on his arm.

"I told him..." Steve continued. "Because it's the right thing to do."

"It is," Natasha agreed. Something about the flash in Steve's eyes was disconcerting to her. She couldn't remember ever seeing him look that way.

"Yeah..." Steve replied with an absentminded nod of his head and shrug of his shoulders. "But... being right... didn't matter this time did it?"

"I don't... don't do this to yourself," Natasha responded as his eyes locked with hers once again.

"I just... I don't know what to feel right now," Steve attempted to brush of his doubt.

"None of us do... Thanos... whatever he did... I mean," Natasha was at a loss to explain what happened.

"He won... Thanos won," Steve said as he removed a glove from his hand and threw it to the ground. He took notice of the state of his still bloody knuckles. Natasha did as well.

"We..." Natasha started to speak.

"Are you okay?" Steve's demeanor changed. Natasha recognized it. He was Captain America now. Worried about his team. Shutting off Steve Rogers.

"I'm fine," Natasha responded.

"No injuries?" Steve asked as his hand moved up to brush the hair out of her face.

"Nothing that won't heal," Natasha answered. Steve nodded and then got to his feet. Natasha rose to match him. His eyes moved past her to the rest of the group. She saw him take a deep breath and then he looked down at her.

"We... we should... I mean... got to contact..." Steve's voice cracked a little before he regained his composure. Natasha instinctively enveloped him in a hug. There was an initial grunt of surprise, but soon his arms were wrapped tightly around her.

"We'll figure this out..." Natasha said as she pulled away and looked up at him. He observed her for a moment before nodding.

"We have to," Steve agreed. They untangled from their embrace and Natasha turned to join the group. His hand on hers stopped her. She turned back to him. "Thanks..."

"No..." Natasha replied with a shake of her head. "You never have to thank me."

Steve nodded and he would have smiled if the numbness weren't overwhelming his body.

(****)

Steve pulled off the top of his Captain America suit and tossed it on the floor next to the bed. His gaze fixated on it for several moments before he cursed in a voice barely above a whisper. He looked around the room, his eyes falling on all the decorations but seeing none of them.

Shuri had insisted the team stay in Wakanda while they tried to understand what had happened. Tony had arrived a couple of hours ago. The news was not good. Many of his team gone as well. Reports were that it wasn't just them... that half the world's population had disappeared with the snap of Thanos' fingers.

Another curse, louder this time, as Steve considered the mad Titan. The cause for all of the loss.

"Woah..." Natasha's voice from the doorway resonated throughout the room as only it could. Steve would have been startled if he wasn't still so numb. "That kind of language from you?"

"Sorry," Steve responded as he turned to see her leaning in his doorway.

"No don't... sometimes it's best to let it out," Natasha said before crossing her arms. There were several beats of silence between them. "It's late... I saw your light on... and I uh... just thought i'd come by and see how you were."

"I mean... I'm not good... but I don't think any of us are right now," Steve answered honestly as he considered Natasha. She like he was still wearing the lower half of her gear, sporting a blue tank-top in place of her usual gear.

"No, I don't suppose we are," Natasha agreed.

"Thanks for checking on me," Steve said.

"Well you seemed rattled earlier and..." Natasha paused. Her eyes briefly met Steve's before she focused on the wall across the room.

"Did Tony get in touch with the white house?" Steve inquired.

"Yeah... they were briefed on everything," Natasha responded.

"Good," Steve said.

"Yep," Natasha agreed. "Maybe we can figure out what to do next."

"Maybe," Steve responded before sitting down on the edge of his bed and leaning forward. He raised his gaze up to meet Natasha's. "It won't end like that... we can't let it."

"If there is anything we can do, we'll do it..." Natasha responded. "We don't really know what kind of power we are dealing with here."

"I saw him turn back time..." Steve stated. Natasha nodded. "We'll find him... we'll get those stones... we'll undo this... whatever it costs."

"Steve," Natasha's only response was his name. She couldn't think of anything else in lieu of it as the conviction of his words touched her. She walked closer to him and he straightened up.

"We will," Natasha agreed. To disagree with him at this moment would be nearly impossible. She saw his eyes move to the bandage sticking out just above her tank-top.

"You said you were okay," Steve said with a point to the bandage.

"It's nothing," Natasha dismissed it. She wasn't ready for Steve's hand to trace the edge of the bandage and her breath caught in her throat. He stood up in front of her so she was now looking up at him.

"You sure?" Steve asked. She nodded. "Listen... I don't know what's going to happen... I don't even know what I feel right now... but... I'm glad you are still here."

"I'm glad you are too," Natasha replied in kind. She offered him a small smile. The first she had been able to muster in hours. He responded by leaning forward and kissing her on the forehead. He let his lips linger for a moment and her hands went up to rest on his chest. After he pulled away. "I'm confused too... but I know how I feel about you."

Steve smiled at that as he sat back down on the bed. They locked eyes from their new positions and held them for several moments. Finally, Natasha spoke.

"We should get some rest," Natasha said as she backed towards the door. Steve watched her as she neared the exit.

"You don't have to go," Steve suggested. Natasha studied him to determine the nature of his words. "If you don't want... it's probably best to have the company."

"You're probably right," Natasha agreed as she closed the door to the room and made her way back towards him. She lied down on the bed next to him and looked up at him. "I don't really wanna be alone right now anyway."

"Me neither," Steve agreed before he lied down next to her. They lay still for several moments before she finally moved her head to rest on his chest. In response his arm moved to encase her and he pulled her closer. Soon both had drifted off to sleep to recover from the war they had just participated in. Both were uncertain of what world they would be waking up to in the morning, but both would take comfort in waking up to it together.


End file.
